Shocking but True, Mr Right ISN’T REAL *collective gasp of horror*. I hear your indignation loud and clear. You mean real people don’t bump into Mr Right when they’re caught in the rain without an umbrella and looking drop dead ravishing?! You mean real men don’t cook 9-course meals and then spoon with you as you watch 500 Days of Summer on Valentine’s Day?! You mean all those rom-coms I grew up with were…MADE UP?! Yes. That is all sad but true. Welcome to 2015, the year you choose the red pill and follow Morpheus down the rabbit hole.
The Infernal List Problem
Women love lists. I do, don’t you? We have lists for everything: grocery list, to-do list, mental list of gossip we must share at our next BFF gathering. Most of the time, a list is a good thing. It keeps us focused. We buy only what we need at Cold Storage. (Ok, ok, plus a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, although technically, if I can’t function without it, it’s a need right?) The list acts as blinders against temptation. The problem arises when we use a list while looking for love. If Mr Right isn’t real and a list keeps us focused on looking for Mr Right, we have effectively blinded ourselves to the possibility of finding Mr Real. What good is a list then if it merely limits our options?
The Right Balance
Relationships are tricky little things and often, you can’t tell what one is going to be like until you’re in it. The reality is it’s nearly impossible to tell if someone is right for you until you have been in an actual relationship. Only through interaction can you discover what you really love about someone, what you really hate, what you really need, what you can tolerate for the sake of the big picture. A relationship is a delicate balance and Mr Real Love is simply the right balance.
Start with a Blank Slate
If you really want to find true love, cast aside your illusions and your pre-conceived notions. Forget the 10 qualities you thought you must have to date a guy. Start afresh. Give every guy a chance (or even two). Date anyone. (Unless he hates ice cream. Who hates ice cream?! He has to be a serial killer.) Discover the true magic of dating: Learn about this guy, see what you like about him, see what you don’t, and find the guy with the right balance.
Illusion Vs Reality
The fact is a relationship, like anything truly important (exercise, career, eating a mountain of ice cream), is hard work. The funny thing is it is also the hard work that makes relationships so fulfilling. When something perfect drops into your lap, it is thrilling for a moment but when you dedicate yourself to a project wholeheartedly, the results will often satisfy you for much longer. It’s true. You reap what you sow. Now that is True Love.
~ Li Ching (Who Continues to Work on True Love)