他要結婚了。女孩不是第一個知道的。好險，也不是最後一個。 她才不想知道呢！ 男孩沒有訊息告知、沒有來電。只是簡單透過一則臉書貼文靜靜地、殘忍地把幸福散播出去。 『我該去嗎？』『不該去嗎？』『穿什麼好呢？』女孩站在鏡子面前磨蹭了一下…思考著穿 得失不失禮、好看與否，都不重要了吧！ 愣了兩秒，潸然淚下…想起那個初識他的日子…
病好了之後，我們每天都出門。雖然總是睡到快中午，吃吃印度有名的 bread pakoda 跟蛋捲與奶茶，
It is spring, the flowers are blooming and you feel a giddy sense of exhilaration. Being in love has changed your life. You are now happy, optimistic and the world can do no wrong. You are raring to go and where better to go than to a place where both of you can stare lovingly into each other’s eyes all 24 hours of each day? A Home. All together now, aww. Excuse me while I indulge my gag reflex and remind you that those rose-coloured lenses will do you no good when you’re screaming at each other at 3am in the morning. Before you jump into the deep end of the pool, here are 5 things you need to discuss for that next step in your blossoming relationship.
- How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
From time immemorial, men and women have fought over the toilet. Learn from your ancestors. Most women take too long. This is a scientific fact. If you are dating the rare female who doesn’t, good for you. If it takes you two hours just to set your toupee straight, you’d better be moving into a house with 2 toilets.
- How much alone time do you need?
Everyone needs alone time. Sometimes it’s for you, sometimes it’s for everyone else. Tell each other about this alone time. Don’t wait till you’re grouchy, eating all the ice cream in the freezer and flinching when she steps into the house. If you have to hide in the toilet fixing your toupee for 2 hours to get alone time, that does not count.
- What do you need when you’re sick / tired / stressed out?
There is a misconception that all women love to nurture sick people with chicken soup and tender loving care. Let me repeat – this is a misconception. Some women just want to be far, far away from all the germs you’re emitting. If you’re such a man in love with such a woman, it might be wiser to talk about a contingency plan. She could send you to a nice hotel or even your mother’s house. Whatever you need, baby.
- How clean do you need your space to be?
Some people shower three times a day when they’re busy. These people usually have superpowers that allow them to detect dust you cannot see and sense dirty dishes the moment the last morsel of food leaves the plate. Others are more in tune with nature. They clean when the dishes in the sink begin to block their view of the moon outside the window. Somewhere in between these two groups is where most people lie. An open discussion about germs and bacteria has never hurt a relationship.
- How will you divide household responsibilities?
What? There’s something other than cleaning?! I know right? Bet you’re really starting to have second thoughts about moving in together. Gee, your parents took care of everything, didn’t they? Wait a minute, maybe they could move in too and take care of the cleaning, the cooking, the dog, the bills, the DVR and mummy could bring you that chicken soup when you’re sick.
~ Li Ching (Who is Still Negotiating Toilet Schedules)
It is a hot day. I was buying lunch at the kopitiam. It usually takes 20 minutes. Today it is looking more like 30 minutes because two construction guys looking hot, I mean fit, were buying 300 packets of rice, presumably for the whole construction crew. But I cannot fault them. These guys work hard building our HDB flats and a man’s gotta eat when a man’s gotta eat. Usually on a 20-minute walk, I do not sweat, I mean glow. But 30 minutes is really pushing it.
My deep thoughts on personal hygiene were suddenly interrupted by an explosive cackle. I looked up. The lady manning the stall was laughing coquettishly at the Fit Man. Their eyes were locked across the trays of sambal kang kong and soya sauce chicken. He smiled, a little shyly, probably unused to being hit on by unabashed stall vendors. She continued her advance, vivaciously scooping extra curry into his rice till he held up his hand authoritatively – enough. It was fascinating. A Kopitiam Love Story. It made a lot of sense. There were only so many places you can meet someone. And there were only so many places you can eat at so you end up eating regularly at many of these. You meet the same vendors, you meet the same customers. It was awfully convenient.
He moved to the cashier to pay. She nudged the cashier gently out of her territory. No one was getting in the way of True Love. Within the cacophony of life around them, she whispered the total amount. He dug around in his wallet for notes, coins and moved to hand over his money. For a brief infinite moment, their hands touched. Then it was over. He gave her one last smile. She reminded him to come back tomorrow, and watched, a little wistfully as he hurried off after his friend. Then the magic was over. Brusquely, Stall Lady turned to the next customer.
Still waiting, I returned to my musings about personal hygiene. I sniffed delicately. Okay, I smell like prata and char kway tiao. It could have been worse. I checked out the tall, smartly-dressed man at the next table devouring his fishball noodles with vigour. He’s sort of cute, in the you-have-to-lower-your-standards-when-you’re-men-shopping-in-a-kopitiam way. But he’s always eating fishball noodles. Hmm. Boring. Still, I had better use deodorant the next time I go out to buy lunch. You never know whom you’ll meet. “Next!” Stall Lady glared at me and I humbly but quickly ordered my food.
~ Li Ching (Who Loves Love Stories)
Though we may be of the same species, there are just some things that differentiate the men from the ladies. The saying ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ does come into play, indicating how we think, speak and act differently to quite an extent. From soccer nights to shopping trips, men and women find comfort in different ways. We carry themselves differently, focusing on the traits that seeks to define who we are individually.
But genders aside, are we really that different? Is it a classic case of Superman vs. Wonder Woman? (Yes, they’re worlds apart. Literally.)
Well, these famous individuals seem to think so! What do you think?
1. “Women always worry about the things that Men forget; Men always worry about the things Women remember.” - Albert Einstein
2. “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” – Oscar Wilde
3. “Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.” – Woody Allen
4. “The cocks may crow, but it’s the hen that lays the egg.” – Margaret Thatcher
If not men, how you think you think you get your protein?
5. “Men are always looking for someone to boast to; women are always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.” – Henry Louis Mencken
6. “Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain’t got” – Josh Billings
7. “A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman” – Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
8. “There is a fundamental difference between men and women – women need romance, men need intrigue.” – Sherry Argov
Even though we may be somewhat different, we are definitely made for each other. Complementing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, supporting one another through thick and thin. It’s like that typical Singaporean saying that most of you must have heard, “AIYAH, same-same but different lah!”
I guess you can say that at the end of the day, opposites do attract after all.