If you’ve been dating, somewhere at the back of your mind is the Idea / Belief / Heart-Stopping Fear that someday you might be intimately involved with a Marriage Proposal. If you’re at all media savvy, you might already have been exposed to the multitudes of extravagant, spoil-market Singapore Proposals on YouTube. This morning, I was exposed 287 times. I think I am now certifiably infected. Symptoms include excessive tearing, sometimes to the point of actual crying, and noticeable loss of rationality. At one point I caught myself wondering if it might be too much to ask my hubby to propose again (we have been married 7 and a half years). Maybe after a few shots of whiskey.
I could just post the best videos here. Oh wait, I am going to. I tried not to. But everyone must watch them because I SAY SO. How else will I destroy the lives of millions of ordinary men who were not at all planning a grand proposal? (On behalf of the millions of women out there, I say, HOW DARE YOU?!) But before the videos, here are some tips to keep in mind when planning your own version of Singapore Proposals:
- Long Monologues are *Yawn*
You know how even the most devout can fall asleep in church listening to a 2-hour sermon? Now take a look at your average YouTube audience who has an attention span of 6 seconds. Treat us like babies. We need constant action, lights, colours, and noise.
- Do Not Sing / Play Musical Instrument if you are Tone Deaf
There is plenty of singing and dancing in the 287 videos I watched. Most of them were good. A few made me cringe. One made me wonder why the guy left his video on YouTube.
- Ensure your Wife-To-Be is Dressed / Made Up Appropriately
If you plan to post your marriage proposal on YouTube, there are 2 possibilities. The first is 3 people watch it (your mum, your aunt Sarah, and your dog). The second is half a million people watch it (your mum, your aunt Sarah, your dog, your dog’s best friend, and EVERYBODY). In the event that the second possibility occurs, and your wife-to-be was NOT made up and wearing those shorts that make her look FAT, odds are you’ll be spending the rest of your life regretting not adding “Ensure your Wife-To-Be is Dressed / Made Up Appropriately” to your Grand Plan.
- Avoid Long Runs to Avoid Excessive Sweating
Being an excessive sweater myself, I assure you that sweating cannot be captured attractively on video. Or photo. Or in real life. Sure it’s not the most critical thing and is unlikely to sabotage your proposal. But why leave a sweat stain for eternity on this beautiful video? Leave the running to others. Glide in on a Segway.
- A Good Video Edit is Worth 100,000 Hits on YouTube
The number of dawdling scenes of people mumbling unintelligibly I saw this morning is enough to make anyone cry. I did. Any video comes with 2985 hours of raw footage. Let an expert filter the best scenes for you. It’ll all be worth it when you reach one million hits and companies come knocking to sponsor your YouTube wedding.
And without further ado, I present to you’re the most popular Singapore Proposals and some I fancied (not necessarily mutually exclusive):
1. The Most Likely Proposal to Attract Sponsorship
2. The Sweetest Worried Wife-To-Be
3. The Cheena Proposal Story
4. The Most Hardworking/Dancing Proposal
5. The Funniest Proposal with the most Steady Pals-For-Life
~ Li Ching (Who Awaits Sponsorship of her 10th Wedding Anniversary)