Because You are So Sick of Dating Apps…

It is one of Those Days. It’s still early but you’re up to HERE with dating apps in general. You’re swearing off men/women/dates/love/relationships/sex, okay, maybe not sex, forever, or until tomorrow, or later in the afternoon when you’ve had lunch and feel slightly better. You put down your phone. For 13 seconds. A strange feeling overcomes you. It takes another second and then you realise. You’re bored. You realise, you want apps. No, no, you need apps, just not dating apps, till later in the afternoon. If you’re having one of Those Days, here are some dating app ideas that could/would/will definitely make your life a little, well, not better, just a little less boring. Maybe.

Dating Apps


  1. Paktor, but for all the chicken rice / char kway tiao / mee rebus / laksa you could eat for lunch near you

So useful because deciding what to eat for lunch must surely be everyone’s dilemma before 11am. After 11am, the dilemma resolves itself. By then, you want to eat everything.

Dating Apps


  1. Paktor, but for people working near you who want to chope a lunch table together

It’s 11.43am and you have already bought your prata egg with onion. You thought you got to the hawker centre early. You look around and all you see are packets of tissue paper. You are filled with despair. Why, oh why, are you too proud to use tissue paper? Never fear, with this new app, you can just befriend someone less proud who will chope and share a lunch table with you.

Dating Apps


  1. Paktor, but for dogs / cats / hamsters / chinchillas / goldfish

Your goldfish has been looking decidedly downcast of late. He might even have lost a little weight, just around his fins. Enough is enough. It’s time he got a date. A little hanky panky with a sexy blonde guppy should cheer him right up.

Dating Apps


  1. Paktor, but for movies and TV shows

It’s Saturday night and you’re home, sad and lonely. There are 37 movies and 28 TV shows on cable you could drown your sorrows in. You have not heard of half of them because, duh, you have been busy building your Career. Never mind, this app will help you find the best way to spend the next two hours of your life.

Dating Apps


  1. Paktor, but for people stuck in the same traffic jam

Instead of pulling your hair out all by yourself, you can now bitch together with likeminded folks, share useful information on traffic jam conditions, and pass on the license plate number of the accident vehicle. (YES!) Oh, and wave to each other as you finally pass them.

Dating Apps


  1. Paktor, but for Hanging Out

You resolve not to spend another weekend camped out in front of the TV watching crap and eating crap. You resolve to find something else healthier, or more interesting, or just different to do. An app lets you check out people near you who have plans for this weekend and want you to join them. Go forth and play.

Dating Apps


  1. Paktor, but for socks

“Sensitive, mature Left Sock seeks tender, loving right sock for companionship after the untimely demise of his previous partner who fought valiantly but eventually succumbed to genetic hole in heart condition.”

Dating Apps


~ Li Ching (Who does not have a Goldfish)