The Reality of Online Dating

People can be stubborn as mules. That’s why clichés exist. Once something sticks, it takes forever and a weekend to peel it off. Online dating is by now, practically as old as newspapers. Yet, every day, people are STILL asking: Does Online Dating Work? If you’re one of those mules who need some help peeling off the belief that dating can only happen in the bricks and mortar world, I hereby present to you, the unadulterated guide to: The Reality of Online Dating.

Online Dating

Online Dating is Here to Stay

Short of computers taking over the world tomorrow and forcing all humans into fields to grow organic rice, we can pretty much assume the Internet and all its variations (yes I do mean social media) are here for the long haul. The fact is that the reality of the physical world as we know it is no longer the only reality. Once upon a time, the virtual world was an incidental intruder to be viewed with some suspicion. Now it is the intricate web that weaves all aspects of our lives together. There is no escaping it. We spend as much if not more time in the virtual world now than we do in the physical one. Certainly, I am sitting at my computer in my study but this physical environment is merely a canvas for the work I’m doing online.

Online Dating

If a Person is Complex, Dating is Complex

100 years ago, arranged marriages that began without any of the modern elements of love as we define it now was widely accepted as the norm. Today, we demand a certain understanding derived through meaningful interaction before we succumb. To me, the main difference between dating online and offline is meeting a person’s mind or body first. But ideally, we should meet all aspects of a person. So does it really matter which comes first? Some might even argue that it is better to form a mental connection first since physicality is superficial.

Online Dating

Like Physical Dating, Online Dating Takes Time & Effort

For online dating to be truly effective, you have to take it seriously. While you don’t need to spend hours getting dressed and made up, it does require the same attention you pay to a date sitting opposite you in a restaurant. So you can’t be twittering, texting your best friend, shopping on eBay, reading movie reviews AND chatting with your online date at the same time. Instead, FOCUS on your online date and realise that this is your one opportunity to really get to know this person and find out if there’s any chemistry. If you can’t be bothered to make this effort, you can hardly blame the medium for your inability to find love.

Online Dating

The Realistic Conclusion

You can find true love in many places: sharing views in a book club, drinking in a pub, or chatting online. The advantage of dating online is that it may save you some time; you can pretty much participate at all hours; you can literally meet anyone from anywhere. It is by no means a flawless system but if you’re dedicated to finding love, it would be a terrible waste to let go of such a good avenue.

Online Dating



~ Li Ching (Who Met True Love Online)