So I hear there are people who actually love their work. I know. It’s strange, exotic even, but apparently not an urban legend. Unlike you and I, these people do not try to stretch out their toilet / smoke / kopi breaks. Sometimes they’re so absorbed with work that they forget to eat (nature’s attempt to weed out the weak, no doubt). Usually they’re also too busy to date unless it’s via express dating methods such as online dating. We call these people Workaholics. And boy, do they need help. So here’s the Workaholic’s Guide to Online Dating.
- Don’t Post a Photo of you at Work.
Being a workaholic is NOT a virtue. It means you have no time to date or remember her birthday or go off on holidays. So while you shouldn’t LIE on your profile, you can Withhold Your Deep Dark Secrets. For now. The truth will eventually come out but hopefully by then, you’ll have managed to snag her with your charm and good humour. Or money.
- Tell People what you are Looking for.
Remember once upon a time…long, long ago…before you started work and became one of Them? Remember when you had hopes and dreams and interests in life that did not revolve around Work? Write about that in your profile and hopefully you’ll find someone with similar interests who could get you back on that wagon.
- Don’t Kid Yourself; It is going to Take Time and Effort.
Yes you are a busy, busy person. If the world was perfect, you would date one person and she would be perfect and you would live happily ever after. Now come back down to earth and how about you get a good momentum going and arrange 5 dates for a start?
- Use your Efficiency at Work while Dating
Time is precious, yours, mine, and everybody’s, so don’t waste any. If your date’s boring you to death or clearly repugnant to you in one way or another, move on. No need to pull a disappearing act. Say you have a 4am conference call / you have to monitor the U.S. stock market / you feel a massive diarrhoea episode coming from that gigantic burrito you ate and you really don’t want to gross her out. Oops.
- No Shame in Taking a Break
There is a Chinese saying about how taking a break is important for allowing you to travel further. Be understanding towards yourself. Work is exhausting and dating is too. When they clash in horrible and terrifying ways, take a break, have a Kit Kat, and live to date another day.
- Never Give Up
As with all things in life, perseverance is the most effective yet under-rated quality in dating. As an experienced fairy tale character once said, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince.” So join Workaholics Anonymous if you need help but don’t stop dating till you’ve found The One.
~ Li Ching (Who Loves Kit Kat)