I can’t deny it. I’m sort of a girl’s girl. I mean we have to be there for each other right? But Guys, I do love you. So this week, I’m going to focus on You for a change. It’s all about you Dudes this week. And I’m going to help you straightaway. Think you’re a nice guy? No doubt. Think girls love every nice thing you do? Hmm. Think again. These are some of the nice things you can stop wasting your time and effort on. (Fewer things to do for the girls, more time for PS4 – don’t you LOVE me already??)
- Buying her Lingerie
Let’s face it. This is a gift for YOU, not her. So drop the act already. No girl is truly comfortable in a lacy (itchy) corset (broken ribs and oxygen deprivation) and thongs (you try having one wedged between your butt cheeks). True, some girls voluntarily get into such gear but only because they were trying to make YOU happy so let me repeat: It’s really a gift for YOU.
- Buying her Jewellery
I know. You’re stunned. Don’t girls LUURVE jewellery? We do. We really do. We love jewellery with great and dedicated passion. We study them. We obsess about them. And the worst part of all? We know EXACTLY what we want. Are you starting to see the light? Uh-huh. Men always get it wrong. To be fair, it can be complicated. There is a LOT of jewellery out there and yet, strangely, one look is all we girls need to decide if we love or hate a piece of jewellery. My recommendation is to skip jewellery entirely or if it really is a special occasion and you MUST or she’ll never speak to you again, do some investigation MONTHS beforehand to avoid suspicion. Yellow or white gold? Diamonds or sapphires? Solitaires or multi-stones? You get the idea.
- Fixing her Problems
Don’t misunderstand me. If her computer is cranky or there’s a flying cockroach in the house, jump right in and show off your prowess. But if she’s whining about her day at work or bitching about her best friend, telling her to quit her job or lose the friend is really not the answer she was looking for. When women are down, they want understanding and validation. I know I know. So clichéd and unfortunately, so true. So there’s no need to rack those brains for a solution. Just Listen, Agree, and Give her a Hug (or a glass of wine!)
- Joining her in the Shower
Granted, there are times when this can be a sexy, romantic gesture, but if she’s late for a meeting or shaving to prep for an appointment with her gynaecologist, the last thing she would be interested in is you taking up half the space in the shower. So as much as you think this is you being adorably spontaneous and fun, you really need to plan this one or avoid it completely.
- Surprising her
Surprises are difficult for anyone to engineer. So many things can go wrong and often will. She just got a thrashing from her boss and you show up at the office with a flash mob to surprise her? You order a cake with a diamond ring buried in it and the bakery mixes up their orders – Surprise! There’s nothing wrong with good intentions but let’s not go over the top. If you have to, stick to smaller surprises, they have less room to go wrong. Believe me. There’s nothing as mortifying as a surprise that goes horribly wrong.
~ Li Ching (Who, Unsurprisingly, Hates Surprises)