If you have been dating, and dating, and dating(!!) and somehow still haven’t found Mr/Miss About Right (oh yeah, gone are the days when we must have Exactly Right), you must be feeling pretty sick of it. Why do we persist? Is it the sinking feeling in your stomach that says you may not be wired for Complete and Utter Independence? Is it for lack of something better to do with your time (who are you and why haven’t you been ensnared by the long arms of the Internet)?
Indulge me here but I think it is our strong survival instinct, that intrinsic knowledge that tells us dating is somehow good for us. As unbelievably bad as it can seem, way too often, it somehow betters us, and moulds us into an upgraded Version 2.0.
Rejection Strengthens your Attitude towards Failure
The worst part of dating is probably rejection and it hits you right at your first step. Moments after you work up your courage to say “Hi” to that sweetie pie in your office, you discover she isn’t that sweet after all. Your friend introduces you to her friend, whom she swears is the “nicest guy in the world” – Yep, not so nice. How many times can you walk into that wall and not crumble into a miserable mess?
Amazingly, you find yourself doing it over and over again. Gradually you realise that walking into a wall is not such a big deal. You learn to deal with it – just get up and find another way, a concept no different from facing difficulties at work, obstacles in life, all of which are inevitable but mostly just make us stronger.
Dating teaches you that Anything is Possible
You get all dressed up over and over again and nothing happens. Then one day, you’re hanging out with your best buds wearing your ratty old tee and glasses, and bang, you meet someone’s acquaintance and suddenly you’re dating. To say that love is a freaky random thing is putting it mildly. Should this make you despair? No! Let this be a reminder of the infinite possibilities in this world. The fact is anything Can Happen if you go out there and embrace life for all its quirky unpredictability. Believe that good things happen and they will. Make sure you’re ready.
Experience makes you Wiser
7 boyfriends later, sure, you might be a little bitter and somewhat confused about how it all works but there is no denying what doesn’t work. Obsessive compulsive workaholic doesn’t work. Sporty exercise freak doesn’t work. Romantic ultra-possessive doesn’t work. See what experience can do for you? The next time Mr Loves-Himself-More-than-Life asks for your number, you can laugh in his face and walk away. Efficiency is now your middle name. You can go through double the number of men you used to in half the time.
Just try not to leave a bloodbath in your wake.
~ Li Ching (Who Yearns to be Stronger, Wiser and Ready for Anything)