Humans may have invented the spoken language but we can’t get away from our roots and more often than not, our bodies still talk pretty loudly (and I don’t mean the noises our, ah-hem, bodily functions make). To properly harness these body language techniques, we have to be both more self-aware and observant of others. So read up and don’t hesitate to use your friends to practise, practise, and practise!
- Warm Up with a Power Pose
Interestingly, body language not only influences others, it can also affect you. So before you head into a date (or any other stress-inducing situation: High School Reunion), take two minutes to strike a Power Pose – Stand Tall, Hold your Arms out towards the Sky, or Stand like Superman with your Hands on your Hips. This will greatly increase your confidence (just make sure no one sees you doing it; being laughed at hysterically would be a Huge dampener even on Superman).
- Smile, and the World Smiles with You
Negative expressions like frowning and grimacing signal your brain to flood your bloodstream with cortisol which raises your stress level. So even if you don’t feel positive, Keep a Smile on your Face (just not The Joker smile) which will not only make you feel better but draw others to you and put a smile on their faces as well.
- Use Eye Contact
Maintaining eye contact, especially extended eye contact, reveals your interest in your date. It shows that you’re paying attention (STOP eyeballing your mobile phone!) and cares about what she’s saying.
- Stand like a Supermodel
You know how supermodels always pose at an angle to a camera? Not only does it make them look slimmer (as if they needed that) it also makes them look less confrontational (which you want on a date unless you’re Trying to pick a fight).
- Talk with your Hands
Have you seen someone talk with their arms crossed? Not very inviting, is it? Using Gestures to illustrate your points helps you to Think Clearly, Speak more Confidently and Appear Open and Relaxed.
- Mirror your date
You’re sitting across from your date. Unconsciously you cross your legs. Moments later, he does the same. Then he leans forwards to get a drink and you find yourself doing the same thing. These Synchronised Mirror Gestures Create a Sense of Goodwill and Intimacy which are so crucial for a good date.
- Positive Body Language
Clusters of Individual Body Language Cues can indicate whether a person is feeling good. These include:
- Moving nearer to decrease the space between you
- Pointing your feet and body towards your date
- Keeping your arms open and palms facing up
- Tilting your head and nodding
- Playing with your jewellery or hair
These can be used to initiate a positive feeling during a date while negative cues should be avoided.