Yes I have used that much hated and abused word: Resolutions. Do I hear a collective symphony of groans? Who wants to be better versions of themselves?! Which *@%** came up with that idea? Why can’t we just slouch in our comfy tees and watch Korean drama all day and all night? We Can. You Can. If you gain nothing else from this article, at least walk away with a mantra right? Buuuut, you wouldn’t be here if all you’re looking for was a mantra. (Remember: We Can. You Can.) So…let’s work on those New Year resolutions for singles…
- Love Yourself
I know right? So clichéd. I hate myself just for writing this. (oops.) But it’s true. If you look to someone else for validation in life, you’re putting yourself at a severe disadvantage. What happens when this relationship doesn’t work out? It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a partner or even a parent. No one can be there for you infinitely even if they want to be. The fact is relationships end and people die. The only one, who will be there for you your whole life, is YOU. So this is the most important relationship in your life and you have to make it work. You have to know when all else and everyone else fails, you will be there for yourself, you have the strength to carry on, you will love yourself, you will take care of yourself.
- Make a Plan
But hey, after the self-love, it’s still nice to have a warm body next to you. So make a plan. Sit down with your friends and make a list of what you want in a partner. Then edit the list. Anything more than 10 items is unrealistic. Anything that makes your friends laugh or whoop or exclaim is unrealistic. Then use your list to make a plan to meet these people, whether it’s joining new classes, getting match-made by family and friends, or whacking potentials over their head and dragging them back to your cave. (You can tell when I’m Kidding right?)
- Make a Backup Plan
Wanting to find love, if we’ve learnt nothing else, is not the same as finding love. So we need to work on the other relationships in our lives: our family and friends. There is nothing as glorious as posting on Facebook that you’re sick and in need of Vicks VapoRub, and actually having a friend deliver it. *True Story* Now that is love. So be sure to be good to these people in your life because when you don’t have a partner, these people are the closest ones you have. Love them like you want them to love you. Stock up on VapoRub.
- Meet More People
Another mantra: Can’t Find Them if you Don’t Meet Them. Give me an award already. Two mantras in One article. That must be some kind of record. If you’re stuck in a routine taking the same route to work, going to the same gym, eating lunch at the same place, well, how’re you ever going to meet someone new? So this year, resolve to buy your morning coffee from a different joint, go to the gym at a different time, eat lunch somewhere else, and join a new class. What the hell, go wild, join Two New Classes.
- Give People a Chance
It’s so easy to judge people. I know. I do it all the time. I haven’t even met you and I know…you’re judgemental. You have that look. Don’t dismiss someone just because they seem a certain way. It could be for a whole lot of reasons: it could be a bad day; she’s having cramps; he hasn’t had time to run to the toilet all day and now he’s having this first date with you. People get the jitters, people are weird when they’re uncomfortable but it’s not necessarily who they are. So give them a chance, a second date and see how it goes…because you know We Can. You Can.
~ Li Ching (Who Loves Mantras)