It’s the weekend. You’re eating ice cream and watching “The Fault in Our Stars”. You’re feeling desperate. How does one get cancer anyway? Would that bring True Love? Whoooa! Stop right there because you’re going over the edge. Before you take any extreme measures, make sure you’re not committing any of these 5 love mistakes that prevent you from finding love.
- You Think You Will Never Find Love
As with most things in life, Attitude can make or break you. If you date with the mentality that no one could love you or you’ll never find someone to love, your negativity is bound to influence the choices you make. You become less inclined to make the first move, go on a date, look for new opportunities to meet people – you get my drift. Instead, work on changing your attitude. Every day, remind yourself of one good quality you have that makes you loveable. Write it on a piece of paper and put it up on the fridge. Ask your family and friends to contribute too. Remember, you have to Love Yourself before you can love someone else.
- You are Attracted to All the Wrong Guys
Player – Check! Party animal – Check! Workaholic – Check! If this looks like your date-list for 2014, it’s time to re-evaluate how you pick them. Think about why your past relationships failed. Can you see why things are not working out in your love life? Make a list of bad traits you want to stop having in your life and once a new guy exhibits these traits, run away in the other direction!
- You Only Want the Perfect Guy
You have a list. I have a list. Everyone has a list. The Perfect Guy List: Smart, Funny, Good-looking, Rich, Mature, Sensitive, Ambitious…and for some people, it goes on and on and on and on. I say, enough already. Brad Pitt’s already taken. A list is a good idea only if you don’t take it Too Far. At some point, you have to realise that while the Perfect Guy may not exist (or is married to Angelina Jolie), the Pretty Good Guy can be an awesome catch. The guy who makes you laugh need not be drop-dead gorgeous to give you a lifetime of love and happiness.
- You Put Work Before Love
Work IS important. Let’s not be idealistic. It gives one a sense of purpose in life and puts steak on the table. But let’s not forget that we can and should have more than one purpose in life (love, family, charity, Lego). Chicken can also be pretty yummy and costs a whole lot less than steak. Strike a balance in your life so that love has a chance to work its way in. Get off work before 10pm. Do not work Every Weekend. Don’t check emails on a date.
- You Think Love is a Leash
After being single for a long time, there’s a tendency to overdo being attached. If you find yourself reaching towards the handcuffs, STOP. Spending ALL your time together is not what love is about. It will only lead to boredom. Having some separate friends and activities can make the time you spend together more interesting as you have something new to share with each other.